When in Doubt, Send a Hallmark

Hallmark recently unveiled a new line of greeting cards targeted at soothing the unemployment woes of recently displaced workers.  Yes, that's right.  When your dad, neighbor or best buddy loses his/her job, you can send some much-needed cheer, courtesy of the cardmakers who supposedly care.  Categorized under the company's "Loss of Job" section, as found at your local stationery store, sympathetic shoppers can choose from up to eight different selections of recession- and layoff-themed cards (http://www.hallmark.com/occasion/encouragement/loss-of-job).

 

Creative soul I am, even I could not make this stuff up.  Giving Hallmark the extreme benefit of the doubt for a very brief moment, I'm tempted to say that this new card line is possibly well-intentioned and probably harmless.  After all, isn't sending a greeting card with a kindly note a genuine show of support for the unfortunate?  Hallmark does have a card for every occasion -- or so it seems -- so why draw the line at job loss?  Maybe it's me, but somehow a handwritten letter with one's own sentiments seems more sincere. 

Personally, I suspect that this marketing ploy has less to do with compassion for the currently unemployed and more to do with attempting to boost sales.  Call me a cynic, but I can't believe big business has a big heart.  It's may be a good thing for Hallmark employees as this latest line may very well keep some copywriters, graphic designers, printers, et cetera, off the unemployment line, as card sales have declined of late.  And it's probably a good thing for Hallmark as this latest card line will surely generate some revenue.  All indications point toward the line's success, so perhaps Hallmark does have a winner here.

While I'm not at all certain that I'd welcome an influx of job loss-related greeting cards in my mailbox, others may be thrilled to receive them.  According to an online article published by a Colorado-based NBC affiliate, Lost Your Job, There's a Card for That (http://www.9news.com/money/221309/344/Lost-your-job-Theres-a-card-for-that), job loss greetings may actually cheer and inspire recipients.  Just ask jobless outreach worker, Michelle Crowthers of Work One, who believes that receiving such a card in the mailbox may actually motivate a displaced worker.  "Getting a card like that and somebody caring is fabulous," said Crowthers.  "At least someone's caring enough to, you know, get a card and say 'I'm thinking of you.'"

Text Message Madness

I don't speak Spanish.  But if I did, I probably wouldn't be going through this latest saga, which all started with a series of Spanish-language text messages on my cell phone. 

In the past six months or so, I have been receiving Spanish-language texts.  It's not a constant stream, but nor is it a trickle.  As I have unlimited text message capability as part of my cell phone plan, it really hasn't been much of an issue.  It's admittedly annoying, but since it isn't costing me anything extra, it's really not a big deal.  I usually text a polite response to the sender, informing him/her that their message has been missent, hit the delete button on my phone, and let it go at that.  However, the last few times I've responded, my missent message spiel has failed to make an impression on my audience.  From what I can gather from my limited high school-level Spanish, my responses are not always taken seriously and I usually receive a laughter-laden reply.  It seems "LOL!" really is a universal turn of phrase.  The end result is that I usually have to pick up the phone and directly set the Doubting Thomases straight.  This is not at all difficult as once my not-so-dulcet tones are heard on the other end of the line, it's very obvious that I'm an English-language speaker through and through. 

I have two prevailing theories on the reason why I'm receiving these text messages.  I'm under the impression that the intended recipient is a young Latina woman who either has horrific handwriting which is difficult for contacts to decipher or she's deliberately giving out the wrong number to would-be suitors.  I draw these conclusions due to the seemingly romantic nature of most of these text messages and based on the fact that whenever I've had to touch base with text-senders, the majority of people I've spoken with (or attempted to speak with) are male.  (So perhaps my Spanish isn't quite as bad as I'd originally thought.)  In any event, I've concluded it's most likely a case of poor penmanship as the odds of the same wrong number being given out on multiple occasions are probably pretty slim.  But you never know.

So, today I received yet another Spanish-language text message.  I have no clue concerning the content, nor do I care to check it out on Google Translate.  As per my standard practice, I gave the sender a heads-up and considered the matter settled until I began playing around with the account option on my trusty pay-as-you-go cell phone.  I noticed that a fifteen-cent deduction had been taken off my tab which immediately set off a red flag as I pay a monthly flat rate for telephone service with unlimited texting.  I immediately emailed my cellular provider to dispute the charge as I should not be forced to pay for the missent text message of a total stranger -- no less a total stranger who speaks a language foreign to me.  I am still waiting to hear back from my provider, but in the interim, I did a little a detective work and determined that the number the text message was sent from originated from -- of all places -- China.  So, in addition to receiving Spanish-language text messages at my location somewhere in the New York Tri-State area, I am now receiving Spanish-language text messages originating from China -- or at least from a telephone number of a cell phone originally purchased in China.  Go figure.

When Bad Copyediting Happens to Bad Copyeditors

I recently received this very appropriate forward via email which definitely seems worth sharing with this audience, although this is more the work of slip-shoddy copyediting rather than poor proofreading:

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't  you say? 
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter  This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.     I just couldn't help but sending this along. Too funny.  

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says    Ya think?  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers          Now that's taking things a bit far!    ----------------------------------------------------------- 

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over          What a guy!     ---------------------------------------------------------------  

Miners Refuse to Work after Death   No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!  ---------------------- --------------------------------   

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant   See if that works any better than a fair trial!   ----------------------------------------------------------  

War Dims Hope for Peace    I can see where it might have that effect!   ----------------------------------------------------------------  

 If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile     Ya think?!  -----------------------------------------------------------------------  

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures         Who would have thought!   ---------------------------------------------------------------- 

Enfield (  London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide  

They may be on to something!  ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges         You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? 
 ---------------------------------------------------------- 

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces  BatteryCharge        He probably IS the battery charge!  ----------------------------------------------  

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group   Weren't they fat enough?!  -----------------------------------------------  

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft   That's what he gets for eating those beans!    -------------------------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks          Do they taste like chicken? **************************************** 

   Local   High School Dropouts Cut in Half          Chainsaw Massacre all over again!   *************************************************** 

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors          Boy, are they tall!  *******************************************   

And the winner is....   Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead    
     Did I read that right?